Me? I like playing Handel on my Kazoo and the kiss of raw leather on my haunches. But it’s not really about me. It’s about you and what you want to achieve. So maybe I should describe more about myself in relation to what you’re looking for. Please scan the following would-be needs and select one that applies to you. Ga’head, it’s fun.

-“You’re just a writer, Ben, and I need more than words alone. You can’t help me, so get out of my face.”

Let’s not jump to conclusions here. Writing is simply a part of what I do. I’m also frequently asked to develop complete re-branding efforts, advertising campaigns, and other marking miscellany. When a situation warrants, I can partner with an entire community of professionals to accomplish your goals. Better still, I’m not stuck in one particular ad agency or design firm, so I can hand pick a team that’s a great fit for your personality, your budget, and your astronomical sign.

-“I want an award winning, super-cool ad campaign.”

I’ve won more awards than I can count on all my fingers and toes combined. Granted, I worked in a sawmill for a while.

-“I need a professional-sounding document or an annual report written.”

You need me. Good writing beats bad writing any day of the week, especially when the topic can be, oh, shall we say cumbersome to readers.

-“I don’t want to pay too much for this project, but I want it to be good.”

I charge a little bit less than most of the good freelancers, ad agencies, and branding firms. I charge more than the bad ones. So here’s a rule of thumb that I recommend: If my competition charges less than I do, it’s because they stink. If they charge more than I do, you’re getting hosed. I admit this formula may be seen as somewhat biased.